There and Back Again...Paul's Tale

What is a dying missionary supposed to say in his last email home? Hmm.... 

I think i'll prepare for watching SportsCenter! Here is some Top 10 things of my mission. 

10 Things I won't miss.

10. Comp Study

9. Dealing with Crazy People. SOO many crazies.

8. Waking up at 6:30 

7. Going to bed at 10:30

6. Not being able to talk to a girl. 

5. Daily Planning

4. Weekly Planning.

3. Giving Marriage Advice. Seriously

2. The Humidity 

1. Being stuck with another Dude 24/7

10 Things I will Miss

10. Brisket. Brisket. Brisket.

9. The Members. Especially their food.

8. Getting Letters. I love mail. 

7. The Stars at night. (They are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas)

6. Being a celebrity at church. (Totally selfish. I love when the kids come up to me to say Hi. )

5. Watching people come to church for the first time and feel the spirit. 

4. Having kids draw pictures for me. I usually end up with a big head. Literally. 

3. Praying with people for the first time. 

2. Being in tune to the spirit and receiving promptings more then ever before.

1. Watching miracles happen. 

10 Favorite Experiences.

10. Trailer fire and saving the dudes truck. 

9. The Steggell card throw.

8. Lickafier. Lake of Fire with Elder Low.

7. Working on a Light house.

6. Teaching Megan. Love that girl.

5. Working with Jose and all the lessons during Spurs games. 

4. Knocking on the Fry's door. 

3. Teaching the Magana's.

2. Lecturing in a Catholic Theology Class.

1. Going through the Temple with Savon kamakanamakemaeokalohapau'ole Moniz

10 Things I'm most excited for. 

10. SportsCenter. 

9. Sleeping in.

8 My Viola!

7. Being able to read a different book for a little bit. 

6. Jeans I can't wait to wear jeans. Oh. and Tshirts.

5. I can sorta grow a beard. I got 2 weeks to try and grow one before BYU I. 

4. Costa Vida. Mexican food is the bomb. But man I am ready for Costa. 

3. Not to deal with Crazy people. 

2. To see my family. 

1. Listening to real people music. 

(The last two were a toss up.)

10 Things I wish I woulda known before the mission...

10.  2nds aren't great when you get them every meal. #Gained30pounds.

9. Working out in the morning is hard work. #lost25pounds

8. It's going to be a TON harder then I thought. 

7. Patience with yourself is the most important thing you can have. 

6. Obedience is there to change you.

5. The mission isn't about you at all. It's about you giving your all.

4. People aren't perfect.. and don't get frustrated when they aren't. 

3. Always make your companion your best friend.

2. 2 years is a really long time. but goes by really fast for some reason. 

1. Going home is going to be the greatest thing and going to break your heart at the same time. 

So there ya go. It's hard to say goodbye. I feel like I'm leaving home to go home. Worst feeling ever. I probably shoulda had yall come pick me up but I probably woulda just tried to convince you to stay and when you wouldn't I woulda thrown a tantrum like I was 5 years old. 

I absolutely love my mission. It means everything to me. I wouldn't trade it for the entire wealth of China. That's alot. 

I love the Book of Mormon. It's so true. I have no doubt. I can't wait to read it again and again and find new things in it. I got close to finishing it 7 times. I did read it 5 times and then started and got through to Alma twice. War chapters are a tough one for me. Joseph Smith really did a great work. I am so grateful for the Book of Mormon. 

Joseph Smith. Where do you start with the greatest man that was ever born in America? Better than George Washington, Martin Luther King Jr. , or Jackie Robinson. He changed more then all of them combined. His work was great, and he died great. I praise the man. 

It's because of Joseph Smith that I can know more about Jesus Christ. That's why Christ called him. Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world. We would forever be lost without him. I understand now why the phrase "Rely on the Redeemer" or phrases like it are in the scriptures. It is only when we can lean on him and strive to be like him that we can become who we were meant to be. 

I learned more then I probably know. (That sounds a little weird.) I love the work. I love the Lord. I love yall.

Remember who you are and what He stands for. 

Elder Paul Robert Funk

More Fingers than Days left

Hey. Well. #10days, not only has september come and past, so has october and November and now I get to come home!

This week...

Monday was good, played some basketball, I scored 42 points in 21. Enough to win twice and still ended up at the end with 0 points. I hate it haha. But it was super fun. Nobody really comes to play basketball here so basically we just end up with us playing. It is what it is. 

I pretty much just tried to exist this week. A ton of people were gone and it makes missionary work the pits. We were supposed to go on exchanges this week but it cancelled so now we have to do it on tuesday. I get to go spend the day in a spanish area. Glad I spent two years not learning spanish. We'll see how that one goes. Maybe I'll get the gift of tounges or something.

District meeting was good, I just had everyone train on something they liked in Preach My Gospel. It was a really good meeting. It's weird going, because I just have 4 sisters in my district. It's like a mormon double date. Minus the dating, cuz we're missionarys. I'd hate to get sent home early. #10days. 

Turkey Bowl!! After I came back out of retirement after the Courtney Stuart incident where she totally wiped me out. I had a tremendous game. We divided up into 4 teams of 7 and then started to play. I got nominated as the QB and in the first game we played to 5 I threw 5 TD's 2 picks and batted a ball at the line. It was cool. So we won. Then the next game we pummeled Elder Kohlhase's team. 10 to 1. And the one was on the last play of the game. I threw 3 TD passes got two sacks on Kohlhase and batted two more balls at the line. We wrecked shop. So much fun. So just to make easier for yall to read...

Elder Funk (2-0) 

Passing 18-27, 8TD, 2 Int

Rushing 2 Rushes 16 yds. 

2 Sacks (I sacked the dude) 3 Batted balls. 

Recruitment number 12-10-14

Notes: Will play for scholarship money. 

So on a more serious note, I got to go to the Temple with Savon! Such a great day. I got to go have lunch with Erik. I love Erik. Such a good guy. Hopefully he can come up and hang out on spring break or something. He is going to grad school right now and we talked about how he should do a paper on Utah vs. Texas Musical programs for youth. Yeah that woulda been really good. 

Going through the temple with Savon was the best day. It was a really neat experience. It was cool to be with him the whole time as his escort. I can't wait to be able to spend time with him once he gets home in two years. One of my best buddies. Love that guy. 

So I guess that's about it for this week.. I'm pretty tired but I guess I get to sleep in like a couple weeks. 

Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Elder Funk

My Own Version of the Trunky Trio

Well.. Another week in the life of me. I guess this was really kinda my last real week that I'll have. This week we have thanksgiving and next week will be a bunch of packing and remembering what I did for 2 years... Probably going to buy a couple boxes of tissues and a ton of ice cream for that week. Hmm..

Well this week I got sick. I guess when you are told to give "Your heart might mind anWell.. Another week in the life of me. I guess this was really kinda my last real week that I'll have. This week we have thanksgiving and next week will be a bunch of packing and remembering what I did for 2 years... Probably going to buy a couple boxes of tissues and a ton of ice cream for that week. Hmm..

Well this week I got sick. I guess when you are told to give "Your heart might mind and soul" to the work, I also gave my voice. I'm literally pretty speechless right now. Can't really say much. But I did do some testifying even in my raspy voice. 

We had to stay in a couple of days because I was running a fever and coughing up a lung. Probably Ebola. But just to be clear. It wasn't. The last thing that I would want is some gov. agent reading this and coming to put me in quarentine so that I can't go home in 16 days. I would much rather watch the Seinfeld episode of the bubble boy then live it. 

We did have a family that was supposed to get baptized this week on saturday. But the moved on us all the sudden. I have no doubt that one day they will get baptized, but it just wasn't the right time or the right place. Really neat family. I am proud of them. I'll always be the 12th missionary in their God Squad. hahaha

I did lose my planner this week. It poured! cats and dogs for probably close to 2 whole days. It was unbelievable. So much water dumping down on us. I think when I jumped out of the car the planner fell and washed down the street. sad day. Another sad thing was Elder Lambert who lives with us got soaked too.. Just one wet little Elder.. He came home took off his jacket that had been soaked through and took out his planner that was completely filled with water and put it on top of the toaster to dry out. Then. Outta habit he turned the toaster on, igniting the planner after a minute. The fire was very literal in our apartment that day. Luckily Elder Jackson in a heroic effort grabbed the flaming planner from the brave little toaster and flung it into the kitchen sink. Turning the nozzle to full blast and extinguishing the fire. He had no care for his own hand. only the care of the entire apartment complex that we lived in. There was no damage at all to anything in the apartment. 

On that note I signed up for an English writing class at BYU I this week along with a Church History, American History, How to make a habitable planet, and marriage prep. Lol jk. That class was full, so I took Economics instead. Fair trade off eh? 

Hmm.. Church on Sunday a lady came up and asked me what I wanted to have for my last dessert at her house. Cheesecake. For sure, any day. I love me some cheesecake. Take that anyday. It's getting super real how close it is to ending. I mean next week will probably be my last real email home. 

So here ya go, I absolutely love this gospel. 100% all in. I can't believe how much of apart of me it has become. I wouldn't say I do everything perfect. For example, Elder Kohlhase slammed my finger in the hood of car this week. I did say a couple of words that rhyme with yam and thought some very unpleasant things toward him and the car for a second, but despite making mistakes I still know and will always be grateful for the church, and the Savior Jesus Christ. 

Remember who are and what He stands for!

Elder Funkd soul" to the work, I also gave my voice. I'm literally pretty speechless right now. Can't really say much. But I did do some testifying even in my raspy voice. 

We had to stay in a couple of days because I was running a fever and coughing up a lung. Probably Ebola. But just to be clear. It wasn't. The last thing that I would want is some gov. agent reading this and coming to put me in quarentine so that I can't go home in 16 days. I would much rather watch the Seinfeld episode of the bubble boy then live it. 

We did have a family that was supposed to get baptized this week on saturday. But the moved on us all the sudden. I have no doubt that one day they will get baptized, but it just wasn't the right time or the right place. Really neat family. I am proud of them. I'll always be the 12th missionary in their God Squad. hahaha

I did lose my planner this week. It poured! cats and dogs for probably close to 2 whole days. It was unbelievable. So much water dumping down on us. I think when I jumped out of the car the planner fell and washed down the street. sad day. Another sad thing was Elder Lambert who lives with us got soaked too.. Just one wet little Elder.. He came home took off his jacket that had been soaked through and took out his planner that was completely filled with water and put it on top of the toaster to dry out. Then. Outta habit he turned the toaster on, igniting the planner after a minute. The fire was very literal in our apartment that day. Luckily Elder Jackson in a heroic effort grabbed the flaming planner from the brave little toaster and flung it into the kitchen sink. Turning the nozzle to full blast and extinguishing the fire. He had no care for his own hand. only the care of the entire apartment complex that we lived in. There was no damage at all to anything in the apartment. 

On that note I signed up for an English writing class at BYU I this week along with a Church History, American History, How to make a habitable planet, and marriage prep. Lol jk. That class was full, so I took Economics instead. Fair trade off eh? 

Hmm.. Church on Sunday a lady came up and asked me what I wanted to have for my last dessert at her house. Cheesecake. For sure, any day. I love me some cheesecake. Take that anyday. It's getting super real how close it is to ending. I mean next week will probably be my last real email home. 

So here ya go, I absolutely love this gospel. 100% all in. I can't believe how much of apart of me it has become. I wouldn't say I do everything perfect. For example, Elder Kohlhase slammed my finger in the hood of car this week. I did say a couple of words that rhyme with yam and thought some very unpleasant things toward him and the car for a second, but despite making mistakes I still know and will always be grateful for the church, and the Savior Jesus Christ. 

Remember who are and what He stands for!

Elder Funk

23 Days

I can't believe it's only 3 weeks til I come home! Alright Trunky comment out of the way. Hmm... So lets see... 

This week was pretty good not to much going on.. We had a pretty good district p day on monday. I'll send yall some pictures and stuff. We went down to the capital and had a blast. That place is sooo cool. Just to kinda stick it to the country, Texas built their capital about 3 feet bigger than the one in DC so that they could have the tallest capital in the country. Sweet. I'll send some pictures. I think I ended up taking like 100 or something. 

So just sent em. 

Hmm... we have been working the espinoza's. They are super sweet. They have had 12 different missionarys teaching them. They wanted us to be the ones that baptize them on saturday. So my email if I had typed it about 2 hours ago I woulda been able to tell you all about how they came to church and they were amazing and everything was all set to work out for saturday. BUT. Elder Kohlhase and I just went and had a lesson with them about an hour ago and they are moving about 45 minutes away because of some stuff. It's pretty crazy. Idk. But we will figure it out. They are great. The mom asked me to baptize her and the son wants Elder Kohlhase the Daughter is going to have another missionary come to baptize her hopefully if we can get everything to work out how we want it too. 

Hmm... This week for District meeting we talked about Correction. Just the different types and how to do it. It's something that is so difficult. The time and the place, how to make sure not to offend, but be bold when you need to. I've definitely something I feel like I have learned alot about on the mission. How to both take and receive. It was a good meeting. I only have 2 more district meetings to give I think. It's getting realer and realer. 

Elder Kohlhase and I get along great. He is pretty funny. I think that we will probably be friends for sure after the mission too. I'm glad that he is my last companion. Super chill, and we work hard together. 

Oh! Another thing. It has been getting so cold here. Meaning like 32 degrees. It's so cold though. I'm pretty much banking on dying when I get home because I'll freeze to death. 

Hmm... Lets see. I got my trunky papers in the mail today. Yep  That's super sweet. I'll be home in time to catch some college football! Go Aggies! Yep. Not going to delete that but I just had the realization that there won't be any college football because it's getting to be bowl season. At least the Eagles game will be on on sunday. 

We had a super cool lesson in EQ on Sunday. This guy talked about his conversion story. It was really cool. He used to be a Zen Buddhist. I'll tell yall the story one day or something. #3weeks. I guess I'll just have to remember all the stuff to tell you.

That was super cool seeing Taylor getting home. Looks exactly the same as he did before. 

Well.. I guess that wraps up this letter. Have a great week yall! Love you!

Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Elder Funk

The Final Four

It was a pretty good week!

We played basketball for Pday, imagine that. Im sure the NBA should come start watching us play, maybe would could get someone recruited and they could pay for the mission to swich to an all car mission. That would be good. I'm all about helping a bike brother out. 

We had a ton of lessons fall through this week. I think we had 5 or 6 in one day. Good golly haha I forget sometimes people have real lives. but remembering that helps out a ton. haha I do think it would in the long term be much more efficient though if everyone would quite their jobs and work on building temples. We can always pray for manna and rain.

We had a moment this week, well in reality a couple of moments that I realized more and more that I'm going to miss being a missionary. 

We went over to a less active's house and were having dinner, they haven't been able to come to church in a long time because they couldn't find it. but we went and told them where it was. She told us how much she loved us and was so grateful that we came by to eat. She didn't have much so we had some leftover lasagna, canned potatoes and some bean tacos. one of the most humbling things though. She told us that we were angels and she was grateful for her angels that heavenly father had sent. It was amazing the spirit that was there. The things I will miss as a missionary... 

  My favorite part of the week was yesterday when we were out at this little mexican apt contacting a former that lived there. when we got there. This little mexican boy yelled It's the police! and ducked behind a couch. then we went upstairs and knocked on the door. The guy wasn't there so we walked back down. That was enough time for the kids to gather and get their toy guns. Kohlhase walked past them. but they yelled Freeze! and I froze on the stairs and yelled don't shoot! of course in 8 year old spanish that means fire away! So after a good ole shoot out. I died on the stairs. Then they celebrated. I got up and jogged to catch up to Elder Kohlhase and they yelled WEGOT A RUNNER! then the chased me through the complex out into the parking lot and out into the street. I for sure shoulda checked traffic before I did that but luckily I didn't get hit then we had a good ole shoot out behind parked cars before Elder Kohlhase got there to open the car up. It was the best mexican shoot out I have ever lost. However.. I may have just encouraged cop killing. Can't win them all. 

We have a few investigator family's that we are working with. We found a part member family that is really neat. I got along with them really well and we set up a plan to get them back to church in a couple of weeks. I loved them. The Dad at then end said, I don't like to open up to very many people but you were special. That is what I am going to miss as a missionary. 

I love this work. I honestly do. I invited 2 people at costco to get baptized last week. They both said no, but one of them thought about it and laughed pretty hard before he said no. So... Success is measured in different ways. I am soooo glad that it is coming to an end.  I think I've lost about 5 years of my life expectancy but It was all worth it. 

Ups and downs it's all great. 4 weeks will go by all to fast. 

Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Elder FunkIt was a pretty good week!

We played basketball for Pday, imagine that. Im sure the NBA should come start watching us play, maybe would could get someone recruited and they could pay for the mission to swich to an all car mission. That would be good. I'm all about helping a bike brother out. 

We had a ton of lessons fall through this week. I think we had 5 or 6 in one day. Good golly haha I forget sometimes people have real lives. but remembering that helps out a ton. haha I do think it would in the long term be much more efficient though if everyone would quite their jobs and work on building temples. We can always pray for manna and rain.

We had a moment this week, well in reality a couple of moments that I realized more and more that I'm going to miss being a missionary. 

We went over to a less active's house and were having dinner, they haven't been able to come to church in a long time because they couldn't find it. but we went and told them where it was. She told us how much she loved us and was so grateful that we came by to eat. She didn't have much so we had some leftover lasagna, canned potatoes and some bean tacos. one of the most humbling things though. She told us that we were angels and she was grateful for her angels that heavenly father had sent. It was amazing the spirit that was there. The things I will miss as a missionary... 

  My favorite part of the week was yesterday when we were out at this little mexican apt contacting a former that lived there. when we got there. This little mexican boy yelled It's the police! and ducked behind a couch. then we went upstairs and knocked on the door. The guy wasn't there so we walked back down. That was enough time for the kids to gather and get their toy guns. Kohlhase walked past them. but they yelled Freeze! and I froze on the stairs and yelled don't shoot! of course in 8 year old spanish that means fire away! So after a good ole shoot out. I died on the stairs. Then they celebrated. I got up and jogged to catch up to Elder Kohlhase and they yelled WEGOT A RUNNER! then the chased me through the complex out into the parking lot and out into the street. I for sure shoulda checked traffic before I did that but luckily I didn't get hit then we had a good ole shoot out behind parked cars before Elder Kohlhase got there to open the car up. It was the best mexican shoot out I have ever lost. However.. I may have just encouraged cop killing. Can't win them all. 

We have a few investigator family's that we are working with. We found a part member family that is really neat. I got along with them really well and we set up a plan to get them back to church in a couple of weeks. I loved them. The Dad at then end said, I don't like to open up to very many people but you were special. That is what I am going to miss as a missionary. 

I love this work. I honestly do. I invited 2 people at costco to get baptized last week. They both said no, but one of them thought about it and laughed pretty hard before he said no. So... Success is measured in different ways. I am soooo glad that it is coming to an end.  I think I've lost about 5 years of my life expectancy but It was all worth it. 

Ups and downs it's all great. 4 weeks will go by all to fast. 

Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Elder Funk

#5weeks left

What a week what a week.

So the beginning of the week was like a blur. I think I was in Round Rock with Elder Eubanks. We packed and cleaned for days. It was pretty good. So yeah.

We had to ride our bikes to go help with a move, it was like 6 miles away and then we had to ride it back... Yeah that was the last time that I'll have to ride a bike on my mission. Happy day, all is well.

Transfer day I went to Round Rock and got some donuts so that was sweet. I got the big one. I could only eat like half of it. I went for the record in the mission. Elder Hurst apparently did it in like 5 minutes or something. I wasn't good enough. Sad day.

My new comp is Elder Kohlhase, he has been out like 5 months or so. Super cool. We get along great. He graduated this year. So yeah, he is pretty sarcastic and we are already like best friends. Haha we get along super great. Doing work!

We actually have a ton investigators. The exact opposite of Round rock. We just haven't been able to meet all of them yet.

Yeah. So I don't own a GPS honestly there isn't really any point because I have.... 5 weeks. Neither Does Kohlhase.. So we both got to a city were we had no idea where were going so we took the giant map off the wall and went for it. By the Grace of God we got to all of our appointments. Honestly we cover most of Austin it feels like and there is no way that we shoulda found all of our lessons but we found them. It was neat.

Yesterday we got a Gps though so that was good. oh wait that's right.... It doesn't work.

We ended up driving 45 minutes in the wrong direction to get to an appt last night. Yeah. So mad. So after driving around for way to long, we finally ended up in the right place after about 10 phone calls. It was great. It was a family of 3 that has decided they want to join the church. They may move back down to San Antonio so that was kinda a bummer. But it's ok. :) It's all the same church. And the same work.

I got a drunk call last night... The dude told us that he was going to be a bounty hunter in Mexico. Because he has to catch the american's are all coming over the border. Oh but who told him this? That's right. That would be his dead Grandpa that he prays to every night. Oh. That's right. He was a pastor, so it makes it ok.

Long Pause.....

I asked him why he decided to do that...

Next thing... "Yeah... I'm laying here on my gross bed and all these fruit flies are flying around me and cockroaches are crawling all over me. They are my best friends."

Pause.... Me: "Hmm... that's good. at least in Mexico you will have lots of friends."

Him:"There is one going up the wall!!! He's crawling up the wall right now."

Me. "I'd invite you to kill him."

HIm "I can't..."

Me. "Oh man.... That's pretty scary man. Watch out."

Him "I can't wait to be a bounty hunter."

I was trying sooooo hard not to laugh. hahaha

He is our investigator who was smoking in church with his E cigerette... Nice.

We also have a couple other people that are pretty close to baptism. Honestly it would be great if I actually knew anybody here. We aren't really getting fed to be honest. Yeah. We haven't had any dinners yet which is weird. And this week we don't have any. but that is my only problem with the area. Other than that it is fantastic. Love it.

I am going to miss San Antonio in a couple weeks when I come home. But I guess it's time right? I love it. That's a rap for this week! have a good one! Love you!

Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Elder Funk

7 Weeks to Home!

Man what a week. I got transferred again. What a week. 

Well... I felt like the old days. we literally had nothing in this area. It has been so dead. So we went a knockin. The closest thing that we got to success was that we were able to talk to a drunk guy for like 20 minutes. We talked about everything from Ebola to the war to who knows what else. He was cool though. 

I feel like I learned alot. I went from teaching 25 lessons a week. to teaching literally 0 lessons in a week. Even though I was trying my very hardest. Probably harder than I have in the the last few months to try and get something going in the area. Talking with everyone and calling people. 

It really humbled me. Being with Elder eubanks the last two weeks has been really good too. He is a really simple kid that tries his very best. He really doesn't have the ability to talk to people that others do and really not to many obvious talents. So it honestly was inspiring and humbling to watch him work. 

What a great kid.

We also got to meet a couple of 70's this week. They came and talked about comp study and planning and talking with everyone. It was really, really good. I learned alot. Elder Hamula also talked about putting down our weapons of rebellion and becoming saints through the atonement of christ. Yep. I have a hecka lot of those. So I set some goals and everything. Should be good.

Also I got my scriptures back. My scriptures are my most valuable possesion. I was sooo excited when I got them back. My Preach my gospel is also on the way I heard. So that is good. 

I have gotten through the first 200 pages in the book of mormon the last couple of weeks. The promises of a Savior and the restoration are beautiful. They really are. I can't believe how great the Lord is to the people when they just listen to what he has asked them to do. Even when people are unrepentant and don't want to change most often he will beckon them all back before he does anything to threaten them to repent. So great. I love the promises of the Lord and I know they are true. Even when you have a week where you don't teach a soul.

A different 70 came because we had Stake Conference. He did a follow up on Holland's talk. It was really cool for him to tell storys of saints in Ghana giving up a of what they have so that they could donate to the poor saints in utah. The entire congregation was floored by that. 

So I guess a week with nothing taught me more than a really busy week. weird how that works out I guess. 

I am so grateful to be a missionary. I love the Lord. Because guess what. I really, really don't like being transferred around like this, and if I didn't know the church was true. I'd be WAY more of a jerk than I already am. But I guess you just let come what may and love it right? Well I love the mission. I'm going to miss it so much. 

Remember who you are and what he stands for.

Elder Paul Funk