What a week. A rollercoaster of adventure and hard times. It was a week that really helped me to grow as a person, a missionary and a disciple of Jesus Christ.
On Monday we got to go to the zoo with some members. I was in a TERRIBLE mood all day. I didn't really take it out on anyone but I was just hurting on the inside because of some stuff I heard in an email. When I was trying to think about the life that I had left behind the people had loved and the person I had wished to become. Plus it was like 100 degrees and dang humid. With no lion to exhibit. Bad combo. So after a long P day we were pretty pumped to go to a dinner appointment BBQ for Labor day with some of my favorite members and there non member friend. We showed up and their friend canceled. I was disappointed because we had been planning this for literally like 2 months. Sucker punch to the face. Annoying mostly. So instead of dealing with it well.. We ate then walked 7 miles back to our home. That took basically forever. But we managed to make it back on time.
Still feeling the effects of the day before Tuesday rolled around as it does every week. Tuesday's are by far the worst. Nothing to look forward too, unless you have a whole ton of lessons planned. Well we went out to teach the gospel and every single one of them fell right on through. Yep. Dropped like we were hot or something. That was just the beginning of 13 consecutive set appointments that fell through in a row this week. It was just so hard. I want to teach so bad but to see the hardness of their hearts, everything was just so difficult. I became really angry... I just was so down in the dumps... I wanted to quit so bad.. I concocted a whole plan to leave, I had the bag ready, everything good to go. I even had made like 2 back up plans... I know that if I had decided to leave that I could have made it work wherever I had decided to go and I guess that is what scared me most. I gave myself one more week though after thinking about it because I was coming down with a cough..
Wednesday was basically like one of those movie moments where the guy gets smacked slow motion in the face with a soccer ball. Crazy. I got terribly sick and just laid on the couch. I had a complete mental, spiritual and physical breakdown. I just laid there thinking about how bad I wanted to leave. I just wanted to go home, or go to a place where no one would know me, I couldn't get hurt anymore and nothing really mattered. After a few hours I finally decided, although angry at good I would pray.. I told God very angrily that if he wanted me to stay out here that I was going to need to know why. As I got up from my prayer I decided to start reading the Gospel of Matthew. I studied for hours. I read the first few chapters very slowly, methodically looking for something, anything that mattered. Finally I reached the 10th Chapter. This is where the apostles are called and the Savior is giving them very specific instructions on how they are to go about ministering and teaching the people. He also tells them what is going to happen to them. I read on and Heavenly Father spoke to my heart.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
I knew then that Heavenly Father knew me. I had gotten my answer that I was to worried about things that I had. Things that I wanted and that I was hoping dreaming for. Even the very most righteous things. But I knew then as I do now that He really wants me to not be the man that I was. I have to be better. I don't think that he would put me through things that are to hard for me to handle and seemingly they may be easy to so many people. I have really so much. But I need to give more, more of myself a willingness to learn and become teachable. Humility. As I prayed and asked forgiveness I can only imagine him laughing with me. Looking and my dramatics, but it mattered to me and it matters to him. He loves us all so much so individually. He wants me home, and I am on that Journey. I finally slept nice that night and it was probably the only good night's sleep that I got that week.
The next day we went to transfer meeting and I said bye to one of my best friends Sister Staker. She was hilarious! It was awesome to get to serve around her for a month or so, but her replacement is Canadian so I guess that will be pretty cool too. haha. So we went back and I decided to give the Lord my full blown effort. I planned like I had never planned before. Made notes and just strained my brain. He was guiding me though. We planned for like 5 hours straight. Elder Dayton checked out at about 3 and a half. I guess we could have taken a break, but I didn't really look at the time. Pretty soon I realized that the dinner time was past and he wanted to take it then but I told him that we don't ever do that, luckily he has patience with me. So we walked about a mile and a half down the street and then the heavens opened. We just got destroyed there was a terrible rain storm and lightening just crazy. It was like armaggedon but in the heavens. Lighting was hitting like less than a mile away. It was so loud. I just laughed but finally a man pulled over and yelled at us to get in. I of course said no, we didn't want to get his car wet, but he insisted and so we jumped in the trunk and he drove us back home. I guess we could have gotten kidnapped but no body wants a couple of wet Mormon boys. I bet we don't bring alot of the black market... haha. Anyway nobody else in the district got rain so we took that as a sign to take dinner... I once again learned that it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. Glad Heavenly Father has patience.
Friday was once again a continuation of dropped appointments. We learned very quickly that ya just keep your chin up and go with it. Persevere! So we walked around all day. Talked to alot of people at a simple dinner of mashed potatoes and went back out and then went home. Long day in the life of a Funk. But we kept on keepin on.
Saturday was alright well.. No it wasn't. We finally taught a lesson! But the entire lesson was talking about satanic Walt Disney movies. Who knew right? Yeah.. I still don't. We biked 40 miles. Hit every edge of area, went out and moved someone in another persons area but luckily no flats. Then we biked down to the dinner and it was great! It was good food so that was really nice. BUT.... we walked down the street trying to go to another appointment. All the sudden we heard firecrackers going off behind us. Wait. Those were bb and pellet guns. yep. We got powned... They just shot us up. I got shot in the back of the head and that hurt then in that back a couple of times. Elder Dayton jumped behind a car and hid after getting shot in the arm. It was just like really? So we called the cops and they came up to us and asked us if we needed an ambulance. We were like.. no? It just kinda hurt and my head is throbbing. He then told us that another kid had the same thing happen to him and that it had sent him to the hospital. I know the Lord was protecting us even though my head still hurts a little.
Church was good. We didn't really have any investigators or anything. But It was good I guess. Haha we have been nicknamed the Eat discouragement for lunch East Zone.. Wonder why. Life is good, can't complain to much. I am grateful that blessings will come. Although maybe not immediately. I love the promise that is made in
29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
Opening portals to life time blessings is what I am doing. It is really just but a small moment. Plus weeks go by quick and now we have a new one! Can't wait to see what this brings. Just experienced one of these deep lows that sometimes come along. But every storm brings about a great sunshine. I know that it will all be great. I love the Lord. I know that I can do anything:)
Remember who you are and what He stands for!