How to be happy

Well dang. Here we are again, it was basically the worst week ever! But it had a really good ending. I can't believe how fast that it went. It was crazy.. So let me tell ya about it. I wouldn't trade being a missionary for anything.
Yeah... So the "Broccoli Experiment." What a complete and udder failure. It was sooo bad. I was totally bummed out. So I felt terrible I went home and just chugged some nyquil tried to call the Mission President's wife and passed out at about 1 o'clock. I think I woke up like twice. I woke up once at like 9 o'clock to talk to Sister Staker because she randomly called, I still don't really have any idea why...  I actually couldn't tell ya anything I said because I just basically fell back asleep and woke up at like 9 oclock the next day still feeling like I had just been forced to watch a Jim Carey movie, (I felt like crap). Finally the next day the doctor lady calls and tells me I have allergies. Cool. So I found some Allegra that had expired in August and downed that. It still worked. I felt like a new man. Still terrible, but at least able to "Funk"tion. so that was cool. We didn't work or anything on Tuesdaythough…

Then Wednesday was pretty much a dud too. We went to Nick's house and him and Jessica had gotten into a fight about something or other and heck I don't really know. It is all drama to me. I'll just tell ya everything now.. So long story short there was a cat fight between the girlfriend and the sister and the gf picked up the Ipad to chuck it and the sister dodged and the baby got the Ipad to the face. So Nick calls the cop, he is a felon so they start to harrass him, they tell him to get in the car and get away, only he doesn't have a drivers licsense. So he does anyway.. Just DRAMA. He called me as it was happening and we talked for a bit, needless to say, he had pretty decent excuse for not coming to church because all of the happened yesterday. I love Nick. Bishop hooked him up with like 20 presents and stuff so that was pretty sweet. I love that guy.

CHRISTMAS CONFERENCE!! it was pretty cool Loaded up on some sweet food and stuff... President lectured for 2 hours about angels and things he showed us tons of false doctrines about the Birth of Christ. It was awesome! He pulled out tons of art and stuff, and kinda pulled some jokes. He and I are really, really similar in our sense of humor but he is alot more refined and better at it. I love it alot. Most of the kids fell asleep because everyone had to drive a ton to get there and we got like 4 hours of sleep that night, but I stayed up and took notes. It was awesome. I loved it.

Lets see.. I went on Exchanges this Saturday. Terrible day. A dumb train parked outside our apartment at 4:30 and blasted it's horn. I couldn't sleep and it was just not fun. We ate a ton though. Our DL has a comp that is a little slower at doing things. He is such a sweet kid, from Mendon, but a little slow and shy, so me and him busted it that day on the bike, only it didn't seem very successful. Nothing seemed to pan out. The zl's of course called and told us that they couldn't drive us home or anything so we were stuck and had to call a member. I was beyond ticked. I still haven't talked to them. They left us hanging so bad, because they planned stuff over the top of us. Whatever. When I came home I wasn't in the best mode and then I found out that my bed got wet. and no one cleaned it up... So I was tired and cranky and had to stay and wash my bed stuff. Nobody's fault. It's just one of those things.

This mode carried over to Sunday morning. I had the hardest time getting up and going to church, I was just pretty angry from the week. When we got to church not a single Inv. Showed up. GREAT! So I was even more bummed out. We went and sat on the back row and we sat next to some mom and her two kids who were so loud! I was irradiated. But then I remembered a story about President Kimball in an airport where instead of complaining about a crying kid he went and helped. So I decided to do that and played with this kid the whole time and it was so much better. It made my whole day and whole week better.

I guess I get it a little bit more now. The spirit of Christ, I was really happy when I wasn't looking on the inside and instead was helping someone outside. I love the Savior. Doesn't mean I'm perfect, doesn't mean I understand everything but I love, love, love Him. He means the world to me. I know he live this Christmas season. He lives all year long. I am so grateful that one day I can kneel at His feet he will probably laugh with me a bit and then we can give each other the biggest hug. I know He is the Savior of the world. I know. I know. So Merry Christmas. I hope yours is as good as mine!

Love Yall.
Elder Funk
Remember who you are and what He stands for.

Walking into a den of lions

Alright... So today, I am super sick actually! It really sucks to be sick on a P day... Yeah.. The one day that I don't want to be sick at all. Awesome right? So here is my plan. I woke up and downed some Yogurt to sooth my throat which went pretty well, then I took a flippin hot shower and made myself a pill cocktail! A few tylenol, some sweet vitamin C pills and something else I think.. I have a whole bunch of throat spray so I have been using that too. My plan is to be better in an hour or so... So to help that along a downed a big thing of water, then ate an entire bag of thawed broccoli. I'll keep ya updated. I am not going to be sick this week. 
This week went by pretty dang fast. I can't believe that I am emailing again already.. Crazy. We have a couple of our investigators that are going to court today.. One of them is already in jail for running over his girlfriend and kid.. Nice... And the other for pushing his girlfriend... Yep. So this should be a good series of phone calls that I am going to making later...

We had our ward Christmas party this week! It was awesome. We had a ton of investigators that showed up and everything. This one was hawaiin themed. Which meant that they lady in charge told us to wear some skirt things that they were in the islands. Normally I would be totally down for that.. But I don't think Elder Le Sueur could handle that. Plus he didn't want to really wear anything under it so... Yeah. I had to but the hammer down on that one.. It was neat though. The Bishop really likes me alot and we are working with him even more, It's been neat to see the transition since I was able to start working here so long ago to now. It's gone from the missionaries not going to Ward Council or PEC to now the entire meeting is about missionary work! I guess I went on a bit of a rant there. Anyway I was talking to the bishop and he came over and nailed down some less actives that were there. Nice work. I wish I could have dressed up like an elf or something... I have good ears for it.

So before the party we went and worked with Kyle and we set up the Catholic Lecture. Yeah.. So we are going to lecture at Jon Paul the Second Catholic School in San Antonio, for some Super Theology class. Should be good. I'm pretty excited. We talked it out with the teacher and he wanted to know what he can ask and stuff, it's going to be question and answer for a good 30 minutes so... yeah I invited the smartest guy that I know. Brother Munoz, he told us no at first because he thought that he would lose his cool, but he texted us later that night and asked if he could come with us. We asked him what changed his mind. He said "I pictured the two of you walking into a den of lions alone." Foreboding right? I'll let ya know how it goes. President thought that it was good idea, and he gave me a ton of pointers for it.

Speaking of President we had interviews yesterday and it was so great to finallly have a good interview! Where I didn't get drilled for not doing something right, or having to have a concussion test. We talked about the gospel the entire time. That is what it is supposed to be. I told him about Elder Le Sueur and everything, basically his response was.. I know, you know when to push and when to let back, just keep doing your best. I really liked it. He was nice to know that someone has my back when things go down.

We had our zone meeting this week, it was pretty epic. We have this one elder that answers every single question. Sometimes he doesn't really talk about the same topic that we are on, but at least he tries. It was basically the same 5 of us commenting the whole time which gets kinda old for 3 hours, but I think it's important, especially for the people that are teaching. It is hard to teach when the entire audience is checked out. Anyway. I got asked a question and before I knew it I popped out some Micheal Jackson reference. Man, did the senior couple not love that one. It was "Man in the Mirror" song, so I thought it was appropriate, but they really don't like me, after I gave a few trainings about "Flirting to convert the members" and stuff. It seems like every time they don't like what I say. It is what it is.

Ok so we have this new investigator named Nathan, and he is sooo golden. I don't even think he realizes how golden he is. He knows the gospel already I'm pretty sure and is just waiting to tell us that he is already a member. The only thing that is really holding him up is that he understands it all but really just wants to know it all for knowledge not as a way of life, but that should change pretty soon as he starts to realize what is really going on. He came to church yesterday and I think that he really enjoyed it.

Speaking of church yesterday.. We got called Wednesday night to teach Gospel Principles, out of all the books that we have in the apartment I think that is probably the only one that we don't have. We have taught it before but alot of the time it is just winging it.. This one was on covenants. Great. So like halfway through the class I got called out into the hall and the member told me a ton of stuff that we needed to do with Nathan (the baptized one) It was a great except when I got back in I had no idea what they were talking about for like 5 minutes... It was a mess. The EQ president was there and I think he felt our pain. It didn't help that we didn't know anything about what we were talking about either...

I really can't think of a whole lot more stuff that happened this week. Oh I did get Grandma and Grandpa Steel's package this week, and it had 3 wrapped things in it. So I justified myself and thought that I could open just one. So I did! It was totally just a bunch of coal. Talk about Ironic.

The neatest thing by far that was this week was that the Magana's came to chuch!!!! It has been like 4 months of working with them and they finally made it! I was so so so happy to see them. It came after we went over there and had a lesson with them and really just listened to what they had to say. What their concerns were about coming and everything. They were just overwhelmed by the amount of people that were going to be there. Which is totally understandable. We talked and talked about it and they came! They even gave us a christmas present. A bowl and some Chili. It is awesome to see when people don't have alot, they are still willing to give. That is the kind of person that I want to be, when I grow up.

I can't believe how fast that the mission is going.. It's scary!! I am having fun, and working hard. It's cool though. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Elder Paul Funk
Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Elder Funk with the Funk Family at the San Antonio Temple

Nathan's baptism

Member Referrals are great!

Another week as Elder Funk.

Before I forget. This one is mostly for Spencer but I guess that the rest of yall might think that it is kinda cool too. Brady Jardine served in the TSAM! Not only that but he was one of the zone leaders that lived by us! Crazy. I saw his name written on the table which was pretty cool. So yeah. He is one of my favorites, I sat in the same seat he did! 

This week was super fast, but at the same time.. Not really. We started off and it was 85 degrees last P day! Awesome weather especially when I found out that it was freezing cold in Logan. haha. Sorry to hear that, but it went so cold the last part of the week. It was actually below freezing. It was hilarious to watch as people all drove past with the same look, just thinking "wow.. That has to be terrible." Trying to clean up some language because...... So Brother Viens wanted me to call the missionaries in Maryland and vouch for him that he was a good guy and yada yada yada, so I was like whatever sounds good to me. So I call them up on Tuesday morning and start telling them the usual stuff, "He's a great member, I think he might be the 4th Nephite.. If Moroni needed someone to help him balance on the ball that would be Brother Viens." Whatever right? So I decided that I needed to tell them that he had alot of crap that needed to be moved and that they shouldn't just show up the two of them. Well I guess Crap in Maryland is like the F bomb or something because he started to tell me to read the white handbook and that I needed to change my language. I responded with a "I am living in Texas." and Hung up the phone... Jerk.

One more pretty funny thing then I will go spirtual or something.. Yeah so we have this investigator named Micheal. He is awesome. He twirls the sign for the cash for gold place, super humble guy. So we went over to go see him and like a block away we could hear this mexican music just poundin. As we got closer it got louder then bam guess who it was. Our now completely drunk investigator chillin with his windows open in 32 degree weather. Nice. 

We actually were pretty busy teaching this week! we had alot of things fall through but we seemed to recover pretty well. My Favorite day was when we went out with Kyle again and he drove us around for a couple of hours. It was cold and like the first three people that we tried didn't really work out but it was cool anyway. We got a referral from the church for some less active members and decided to just drop by, right as we did, she pulled into her drive way at the same time and she said she has always pushed the missionaries away, but she would listen for 15 minutes. It was incredible! She told us that she had a bad experience just a few days earlier and took this as a sign that she needs to go back to church. 

Gloooooooorrrriiiaaaa. (Just say that singing it..) So cool stuff. Gloria called her cousin who is member and said she wants to get baptized. Sweet. The member told her that she had to read the Book of Mormon and come to church first. Gloria said that she already knew that the Book of Mormon was true because Sister Huff told her it was, she told her that she had to pray about it. Good work Sister Huff!! So I will keep yall posted. 

We had another member text us last night and set us up with a baptism. Yep. Sounds like it. It is an 11 year old kid who is had his sister get baptized a while ago and his grandparents think that it is time! So that is awesome. We are going to call them today and hopefully go over tomorrow!! I'm excited. 

Then... yesterday we had 7 Investigators at church!!!!! That is a mission record for me! I was so so so so happy. I felt like a kid in a candy store. Just running from place to place trying to get everyone fellowshipped but the ward did so good at helping them out. Kiana's family came I think that I told you here story. She backed into Brother Viens car and then he told them to take the missionary lessons. If I didn’t, tell me and I will tell you the whole story later. But anyway. They came! It was super awesome! The all did super great. Another guy named Nick and his daughter Raylan came to church with us, we were like 10 minutes late because we were picking them up and yeah.. So we went and sat on the front row of the church! Prime seating so that they don't have the whole bad experience of the back with all the kids.. That's what Elder Golden told us to do. It worked. Then another guy named Lawrence came! He ate it up! He had been to a bunch of churches before and hadn't been accepted very well and now he found it. Cool stuff. 

So I can't believe that I have been out a year already.. so much has really changed and been made better, and I can't believe that I made it sometimes! I love the Lord now with all my heart. On a note though. Sunday school teachers make a difference. My Favorite all time lesson was from Brother Sorenson when I was a teacher. He brought in a Tv and we watched the Jimmy V speech. That Speech has brought me so much peace.. I almost feel like he wrote it for me. The other one that made a difference was Brother Downs. I am a poetry addict since I have been on the mission. I love it, love it, love it. So I started to write a little bit. Brother Downs might have to revise this one but I call it "My First Year".

At the finish of My First Year,

Life's tough, taught lessons I hold dear. 

Trials, heartbreak, a bit of fun, 

In many ways, His Will was done.

The Lord's MTC prepared me and took,

Much patient study of Mormon's Book.

Then, His work I desired do, 

On a plane to Texas I flew!

There, the Lord loaned me my first truck, 

With weight too, just my dang luck... 

Some many things He gave to my gain, 

All together outweigh the aches and pain. 

I miss my buddy Jake, serving in Paradise; 

Teaching all, giving life's golden advice. 

Jake meets and greets, those passing on, 

That is His plan, none to be gone. 

My Testimony grew stronger over time:

"God's plan is free, it doesn't cost a dime.

He asks instead to be sin-free, 

A Perfect son, one I wish to be."

See Y'all, I'm not quite yet there, 

I sure work hard, my cross I bare.

I teach the Book or Mormon all day, 

It's Holy Laws, strive to obey. 

I've thrice read it, through and through,

Again I'm reading, more truth pursue.

Abinidi's story became my favorite, 

He gave his life for treasure infinite.

Now Mother, don't you worry, I'm far from fire,

But, if I bike next summer, the heat may be dire.

I feel the Lord's "real fire" I now know,

That from where His sacred instructions flow. 

See, I learned to listen every day, 

Because seat belt tickets are pricey to pay!

He always comforted me when distraught, 

Confirmed the many messages I have taught.

So with His help, my final year I go,

Hopefully to make more friends than foe. 

To teach His way, with His spirit, 

With luck, I may even stay fit!

Who knows, I may meet my cowgirl one day,

Maybe I've seen her along the way. 

In year's time, she'll look back, and we'll be proud,

For I will proclaim to all real loud:

"This is God's plan, His Marvelous truth,

A Prophet's word, my precious proof. 

One Simple Prayer from a young boy, 

Has out stood many Satan's ploy. 

Our Father and Brother appeared to that lad,

Established truth, for which I am glad.

His Peace to me in a sweet sentence gives:

'My Redeemer lives, He lives, He Lives!' "

Now I hold my head up proud and high, 

For not a moment ever passed me by;

I did not know, and love my best friend, 

My Savior, Jesus Christ, at my first year's end.

Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Elder Paul Funk

New Vacuum!

Alright well here is another week in the life of a Funk:
It was moving week. Seriously. I think that just about everyone decided that they needed to move this week. We ended our P day a little bit early at like 5 or so and went to help Brother Viens move a whole bunch of stuff. It was so much.. He had a house hold of stuff in a two bedroom apartment. So we loaded it up into the trailer and it took pretty much the entire night. The next morning he picked us up and again we loaded all morning. What was really nice is that he bought us Subway and he had basically no money. He is such a good guy. They only thing is that he is a Red Sox fan and so I have been working on saving his soul. Love the guy though.

Elder Hackworth wanted to me to do a call out to all those that may be reading this. He needs some of those women folk to write him... SO if you read this. and you fit in that category... Write him. Now. Just do it. You can send them to my address and I will hand deliver them with a hug and a brotherly kiss. Just like the apostle Paul taught. On a side note. You could also write me.. Either way. We appreciate letters.

So Tuesday... I finally got to go to the temple! It was so great. I decided to go to the 4 o clock session so that it would take up the least amount of prime time as possible right? Well it just so happened that President Slaughter was taking all of the missionaries that were going home the next day, through at the exact same time. So.. Temple Crashers Funk addition.. Yeah... That was awkward, people were asking if we were excited to go home assuming that we were with them.. We played it off pretty good. I just felt bad for them. They were all bawling in the Celestial room and I was like a kid in a candy store.

Thanksgiving was super sweet! We went over to the Rohrer's house for dinner. They had a bunch of family over and so that was pretty fun. I pounded down like two plates of food, Elder Le Sueur wanted to go to Ihop before we went over there and so he didn't even finish one and told the members that he went to IHop. I don't think they liked that. Whatever I guess. Transfer meeting was pretty cool Elder Jones, (Eric) got shipped back down to the border. I think that he is training down there and Elder Hughes and Low are both up in Austin somewhere, They are both Senior comps. I love those guys. Elder Hughes called me and we had a solid conversation about the good ole' days in the UC. Anyway back to the dinner. It was good then we played this game called compatibility. I owned. Le Sueur and I partnered up first and then I was with Simion the rohrers 13 year old son. It was sweet. I totally owned both times. Then we played some Apples to Apples. That was pretty fun too. I didn't win though..

The rest of the week was just a blur! We got to help with another move that was the day after thanksgiving. I was so tired.. We moved and moved.. Then when it got done they gave us and Brother Vien's 40 bucks to go and get some food. We went to taco Cabana and got some fajita's's. super terrible. We wasted our money. But that was cool because we had some pizza and wings for dinner. Clearly I have been eating healthy already. I was bummed about the money though...

Oh! We had another move this week. This was the bad. So we were helping this guy that is in the Army he has super bad PTSD and so he doesn't come to church. Really a fantastic guy though. He wanted to move his 800 pound gun safe into his new house.. That's great. It took like 45 minutes for us to slid this safe only to find out that it is the exact same size as the door jam of the closet. I was the smallest person there so guess where my spot was? You guessed it.. Pulling on the inside of the closet. Luckily we got the gun safe about half way in before it got stuck. I was trapped in there for an hour while they tried to shove it in. Yep. It didn't go. We destroyed the Door jam and evetually after 2 hours it finally went in. It was pretty frustrating. His wife wasn't pleased, but hey. we got it done.

Oh so I got a call out during Fast Sunday. Kyle walked in (He is 22 just got married and is going to BYU I) and was like Funk! you didn't get transferred?! I was like "Nope!" But then he got up and bore his testimony later and said something to the effect of "Man I walked in today and saw Elder Funk and was so surprised! He said that he was going on 7 and half months here and I just had to tell him to Hang in there! I remember on my mission when I was somewhere for 5.. Boy was that rough.. " It was pretty funny.. Kinda made me look like I didn't want to be here, but I totally love Kyle. He leaves like next week though for BYU I. So does Jordan one of my good friends.

We got Vacuum. Yep. I was super pumped. (no pun intended) Ya never know how much a blessing that is until you don't have it. I LOVE to vacuum.

Blessings come large and small I think that is what I learned this week. Is that they come in many different ways. I didn't quite tell the whole story at Brother Vien's so in case you were wondering what really happened at the move.. Here ya go.

So we showed up the move and got inside to wait for some more people, they didn't come. Then when were about to get started, the heavens decided that it was time for rain to come! Brother Viens was pretty down, but he had to get his stuff out. I walked out to the edge of the Truck and by myself asked Heavenly Father if he would let the rain stop for a while so that we could move Brother Viens. It didn't stop. So I decided that I would has one more time. After I lifted my head up all the rain stopped right there. We moved the rest of the night. I was so, so grateful that Heavenly Father answered a prayer, because we really needed it.

I am so grateful for the scriptures, I get to study them everyday and I love it. I am nearly done with the Book of Mormon again for the third time and it's neat because I know that when I start it again next week it will have been "re written" for my new situation. It's amazing that if you read everyday, something always pops out for what you need. There hasn't been a day that has gone by where it hasn't given me new knowledge of what I needed.

The greatest blessing of the week though came when we went to gospel principles. The teacher was late and I was not wanting to get up another unprepared lesson so Nathan the kid we just got to baptize jumped up there and started talking away. He wanted to talk about how we felt the holy spirit. He ended up teaching the entire lesson. It was alot of story telling from everyone. As he was teaching I thought, this is what Christ was like sitting in the temple as a kid. He was so young, kinda like how Nathan is young in the gospel, but he knew so much. It's funny how such a simple thing can make a week go by so much better.

So now it is probably going to be another hard week, but I get to figure some more stuff out! Read a little deeper, grow a little stronger, learn a lot more. I wouldn't trade my mission for anything in the world. It is great. I love lessons that I learn.

Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Elder Paul Funk

Fourth of July and New Year's in the same area

This week in the UC...
So I found out that I am staying for my 5th transfer here! I'm not gonna lie.. I was looking forward to moving and maybe seeing something new, but I guess not yet. I get to celebrate 4th of July and New Year's in the same area! Whatever I guess. It's kinda one of those things where it is my will vs. His will and so I just gotta learn one way or another. Elder Le Sueur is also going to stay here. I think next week in Ward Council they are going to assign me a calling. haha jk...


So we got Elder Golden that came to our mission this week! It was pretty awesome! We got rebuked pretty good. Well not the whole time, I don't quite understand, since President Slaughter came in all of our numbers in the mission have gone up and overall we have improved, so I didn't really get it, but whatever I guess. He drilled us on not knowing the key indicators and stuff, like how many baptisms our mission had last year and stuff. How in the world.. Whatever. Other than that it was really good, I think he knew the doctrine and scripture references on everything. He lectured for like 3 hours in the morning and then we went to stand up and everyone talked and he rebuked us all for talking in the chapel. So of course what did everyone do after we finished the afternoon lecture? Talked in the chapel. Man did he make everyone feel worthless haha. He told us that we were supposed to be the future leaders of the church and that he was scared for the future if we acted like that.  Nothing against the guy. It really was good.

A serious side note. So we have our weekly Sunday-funday at the Zone leaders and last night we were all hanging out and one of them put in a bag of popcorn in the microwave. For how long? Yep. Toooo Long. We heard an explosion he yelled and jumped up and flipped it open only to have a mushroom cloud of smoke engulf him. Oh and the entire apartment. So it was about 35 degrees and raining outside but we had all of the windows and doors open trying to get all of the smoke out at 10pm last night. It still smells. Our clothes reek.

So early on in the week I nearly ate it for my first time. We were going down pat booker, like main street in logan and we were flying to our appoinment I cut across all the lanes of traffic and went to grab my brakes and they were like gone! Luckily they locked up at the last minute and I burned some serious rubber. It smelled awful. But It was pretty epic. Right in front of the Bike shop too man! Howard the bike guy just laughed at me pretty hard. I love that guy!

Alright.. We were going to have a big group baptism with our District this week. It was basically going to be super boss. We planned and planned this thing. As a matter of fact we skipped most of church last week to plan this thing. We were going to have 5 baptisms. Then the gates of Hell broke out. One got cold feet, one wanted to wait for another day. awesome. Finally on Wednesday night we went on splits, what happened? Elder Le Sueur went with a member and they had an incredible lesson. Me? I went with the nicest man in the world and we got chewed out! Bad. So I got to the church and took another chewing out by a the fellowshipper member for Nathan. For not doing everything her way. Now out of all the control freaks in the world i am in the top 10 percent. Fast forward 12 hours. I get an awesome phone call that morning telling me that she has called a bunch of people in the ward and rescheduled our baptism for 2 hours later so that it will be her way.. If there is anything that I could tell yall to not do this week, it would be don't schedule the missionaries baptisms for them. We really do have it taken care of. That may be the only thing we know how to do.. but we know how to do it.
In the long run we went to both baptisms and both were good. The one that we planned was way better, had some investigators there and was super inspirational. The other was scatterbrained and the talks were geared to an 8 year old girl that was getting baptized. Baptism Crashers. Nothing like it.
Nathan has been super neat to watch turn around. Life's do get changed out here! It took him 5 years to finally get baptized. Don't give up on anyone!
I do love this gospel with my whole heart. I am grateful for what I have. Happy to Thanksgiving yall. And to all A good day. Or something. That sounded so much better in my head.

Remember who you are and what He stands for!
Elder Funk

Hanging with the Funks

This week in the UC....
What a week it was. Let me start kinda from the back end of the week and I will work my way forward. So this morning I got a call from Elder Hughes and he told me that Elder Dayton had to go home, because he got in a terrible bike wreck. I hope that he is doing alright, he is in a better place now.. Well not really but hey that's what they say.

Yesterday (sunday) was a dud. So we were supposed to have Nathan come and get interviewed for baptism during church. Well the problem with that was that he didn't come to church. Now I have gotten alot of excuses on my mission. What was it this time? His member fellowshippers decided that that they wanted to take the day off and go to the riverwalk. What the Heck. So that was super frustrating. Then we are trying to pull off this big joint baptism with the other Elders, and when we presented the plan in Ward council we looked like Idiots because the Zl's didn't schedule the building for us and there was a different baptism for a member. Ugh. So I called them up and told them to come over to church and we had a two hour Pow wow instead of going to the rest of church. It was good though.

I went to my First Funk Family Sealing this week! It was great! The Funks invited us I will send you a picture. I have never been to a sealing before, so it was kinda weird. The Kids SCREAMED the entire time, so bad that we couldn't even hear the sealer. Hopefully they are sealed... At least God has better hearing than I do.

I also went to a Quinciera this week. What in the world. So I started eating my food, and then thought I would be nice and went to grab some drinks for everyone at the table, when I got back I set down all the drinks and Elder Le Sueur went to town eating. I looked down and saw that the Elder Quorum President's wife was also eating.. Who's food? My food. I missed my chance to say anything and just had to sit there. Plus they did some flippin weird dances. Like with a doll. Oh another thing, they told us that there was going to be non members there! There were.. Guess what language they spoke. That's right, spanish. Way to think that one through Funk. Finding at a Mexican Birthday Party is up there right next to finding at a Funeral for the President of the school of the Deaf. Fail.

Lets see. We had exchanges this week. The Elder was from Mendon. He didn't say a word the entire exchange. I felt bad, he is a little socially awkward and so I wanted him to loosen up a bit and have some fun. So I took him down to the creek and we chucked some rocks for like 10 minutes. It's one of my favorite hobbies these days, relieves the stress... It was good til we got home and he rebuked me for wasting time and joking too much. What...? Whatever.

Bishop called us one day and told us about a referral. No joke her name is Cherry Pie. Yep. She is pretty cool we went and talked to her, hopefully going to baptize her. Not going to lie. Baptized Cherry Pie on my mission would be one of coolest stories ever.

Yeah. Let's see. I bashed a bit this week. It gets so frustrating. We are teaching this guy named Ed that is so intellectual, he knows alot, but God knows more.. He wants to prove Joseph Smith wrong. Heh, good luck!

Somedays.. life is terrible. I just get sick of it. We got transfer calls coming up and I don't know if I'm leaving. I'm pretty drained of this area, not going to lie. Ready for a new start and everything. I wonder sometimes what the Lord wants to teach me...

I'm so tired right now. Haha I think that every missionary in the world is tired all the time. I guess the Assistant to the ZL's was talking to President the other day and said that we aren't going to get facebook, Ipads, or Iphones for a really long time, because we turned it down and didn't want to be the pilot mission. So I don't think that I will see that on my mission. Kinda disappointing, but who knows that really is set doctrine right now.

We have Elder Golden coming this week from the 70. Pretty sure that we are getting rebuked. He is staying for a few days. I have no idea, just kinda has that vibe about it. Hopefully I'm wrong. I'll keep ya posted.

Nothin else really happened this week. Like I said we got some transfer calls coming up. I wanna get out, but we will see! I'm getting kinda burned out. Oh speaking of Burn out. It was freezing!! in the beginning of the week and I was so cold. I couldn't take it anymore and told the EQ president to take us to Ross, yeah went and spent a bit of money on gloves and a beanie. I don't think that my card is quite figured out yet, because it failed, but I had cash. What was the temperature the next day though? Like 90. Ridiculous. Texas weather nothing like it.

Well I guess that I have to go risk my life again pretty soon, getting in the car with the concussion sister.. what the heck... It may sound like I'm complaining alot, or that I hate my life. Reality is, I love it, just I relish in drama, or maybe there is alot of drama.. either way. That's my week!
Remember who you are and what He stands for!!!
Elder Funk

Learning Lessons

Well.. Another week in the life of a Funk...
So not going to even pretend it was a good week. I think I may have finally cracked Elder Le Sueur. It was just bad.
First and the greatest lesson that I learned this week. Walking is good for the Sole.
So after his accident with the bike, Sister Slaughter told him that he has to stay off the bike for a bit. That makes working even more impractical than it already is. Still... We press on.. Dramatic music here.... So we walked and we walked. As a matter of fact we walked 7 miles each way on three separate occasions to try and go to appointments. Yep that's a solid two hour walk each way. Bummer.

I got so frustrated with him. He raps all the time. So I told him that if he would shut up I would turn on some country. I freakin cracked. We listened to country for like 3 days straight. I just couldn't take it anymore. During that time, we went over to a members house and she gave us this one drink, it's called something Ice. I have got it knocking doors before and it's soooo good. Like my favorite ever. So drank like half of it. Why is it so good? Oh that's because it's tea.  I can't win sometimes. I found out that I love tea on my mission and can't ever have it again. Sometimes I wonder.

So Saturday was a bad day. But learned alot. I learned the hard way that if the phone is not on when you plug it into charge then guess what? The alarm doesn't go off. Yep found that out at 8 oclock. So I jumped outta bed turned on the phone and everyone and their dog was trying to call us. I was on the phone most of the morning trying to figure stuff out with the ZL's and some members. Our appointment canceled at 10 and basically everything else fell through. Crazy day.

K so I am emailing on a laptop and it really sucks so this is gonna be a shorter email.

Cool experience.

Elder Le Sueur had his cuz call him, she wanted to come see him. Which is like the biggest no no in history of missionary work. So I was like ummm no. (Side note: I don't know why I am tempted to swear all the time. I think it's something in the water.) So it simmered down for a few days and we were at the Zl's apartment on Sunday and she called him. He took the call and they were all over him about it. Finally I got some help.. That's when Elder Chipman and I went into the back room and I just told him how hard it had been and everything. Basically bawled for like an hour. He's awesome though. I forgave him and he forgave me too I think. Back to the story. We left and the cuz was planning on meeting us at this fireside that the candy bomber from world war 2 was going to be talking in. I have been looking forward to this for forever. But I knew the only way to stay obedient was to not go. So I prayed. I finally got up the strength to tell Elder Le Sueur that we weren't going to go, he wasn't happy and was planning to go anyway, but then... He got super sick and puked his guts out an hour before we were going to go. God works in mysterious ways, but hey. I'm not complaining.

I love this gospel with all my heart. I honestly do. I love doing it, even when it sucks. So Sorry this is a short email. But know that I am praying and learning alot out here and love yall so much! Hopefully Jared does alright. This is were I have to say to all the moms.... We were totally right to take Bachelor Camps. If it hadn't been for those camps, Jared would be probably pretty miserable not knowing what to do. I'm sure he is wearing his wife beater tank top, eating some ramen noodles and whittling a stick to write in his journal with. Shoot maybe not. Maybe he's digging someone's truck outta the mud. But. I'm still going to pray for him.
(Jared is one of Paul's best friends who is serving in the Philippines at the time of Typhoon Yolanda. )
 
Love yall. Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Elder Funk

Wranglin' in Wranglers

Howdy Yall.

Well first and foremost I have to tell ya. I am truely becoming a Texas missionary. A member dropped off some sweet 70's wranglers that are 100% polyester. They are pretty dang tight. Both in the cool way and in the Nacho Libre way. I took some flack from the Zl's and the told me that I shouldn't be wearing them.. well. I needed something to match my cowboy boots. So long story short I gotta check on LDS.org for some info to make sure that I am not breaking rules...

This week was a doozy! Went by super quick. Maybe I can start from the beginning and that will help you keep up.

I had an awesome P day. It was great. I stole the book "Miracle of Forgiveness" from the shelf at home and so I decided that it would be a good time to read it! Holy cow. I have never understood the importance of Repentance before. He opened my eyes to things that I never understood. It really inspired me to do better. However I am extremely grateful that I was clean before I came out and continue to work at staying that way! Holy cow. Seriously that is the single most bold book that I have ever read in my life.

Elder Le Sueur has been doing a bit better. He studied a little bit more this week! Well sorta for the first time! I am grateful to be his companion. I am learning alot about kinda trying to lift him up and he has some good things to teach me. It's a different situation. But everyone is placed in a certain spot in a certain time for a reason. We just choose to love each other, even if that means that we don't always agree. He does like to rap every single thing that I say to him...

I had a lot of neat experiences with being prepared to "be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you".

The first was on Tuesday when I came across a neat scripture in Alma.

 44 For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the aword of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.

I thought about how trusting the followers of Lehi and his family must have been when the first journeyed into the wilderness. They had never before been where they were destined to go. Surely they must have had a ton of fears and doubts. Well at least a couple of them did!

So I wrote that down in my study journal and kinda forgot about it. We went to teach Jacob Fisher, an RM but he wanted an active member lesson and so we began to teach him the restoration of the gospel. The I stopped in the middle and said "Ya know Jacob.. I want to share this with you." So I did. His reaction was different than what I thought. He teared up and the spirit was so strong. He was overwhelmed because he told us that his plans to go to BYU had fallen through and that he wasn't having any luck with life in general. He had been praying to know what he needed to do. He recieved his answer from that scripture. Yes. It is that easy. It is one of my favorite scriptures.

Next we went over to the Magana's with Brother Brashears. He had such a sweet testimony again. He is the best. I love him to death. We did our best to help them feel the spirit and to come closer to baptism... They aren't progressing super great but they are doing ok I guess.

Halloween! So we actually didn't do anything for Halloween! Well nothing different at least, we taught lessons. It was so great. We went over to the Beer's house and taught them we had a super powerful experience with Lita when she read Psalms 23. She is going to get baptized. I think that might be part of the reason that I am still here.

Nathan is gone.. He moved over to Helotis Ward. It was kinda funny because I called to pass off his info to the other Elder's and come to find out that it was an Elder I came into the field with. Love the kid to death. He has been having Neurological problems and has spasms. It has been really hard on him and they haven't been able to have alot of success over there with baptisms it sounded like. His companion was a kid I went to High School with! Elder Anthon. He was a punk back then. Well at least I though he was. I didn't believe my eyes when he was there! Such an awesome guy though. So I am grateful I got to know Nathan. He is a cool kid.

Well... Elder Le Sueur took a tumble on his bike. We were flying down a hill probably going like 20 or 25. I just like to keep up with the cars if I can.. Then I can measure it. And he tried to jump a curb. Yeah.. He ate it pretty dang hard. Not gonna lie. I turned around and saw it. I laughed a little. He was just fine, he is tough kid haha he just got up, was super embarrassed and we went off to the appointment. When we got there, we had to do some medical procedures. His pants were in shreds, and had some bad road rash, but other than that it was pretty good.

Glady's Knight concert was super sweet. I partied like it was 2014. Yep... It was really inspiring and dang that girl got some soul power! I think I may have a crush on her. Not gonna lie. One of the greatest things that I have ever seen! There was one guy that sung "Villa de la Rosa." It was the most B E A Utiful things that I have ever heard in my entire life. Hopefully we are going to get alot of refferals from it and start to pick up some new investigators.

So the best moment of the week I had to kinda babysit all day.. The ZL's dropped off their comp that they are with. He is a little disobedient but is a sweet kid. So it was just a tiring day. Not gonna lie, spend a couple hours in the apartment while they tried to fix up my bike with some sweet pedals. Didn't work. Still had go buy some but The bike guy is my BFF. So I was tired. Had no dinner appointment, but I had my lucky wranglers on. So nothing could happen. We walked by the golden Corral and lone and behold. Members "wrangled" us in. Super sweet.

So we went in and started to eat. I sat next to there 7 year old son, Austin, he and I started to get along great. We talked and talked, he wanted me to try basically everything. Everywhere that I went, he came along. So we sat down and he was eating a giant piece of friend chicken and I asked him "Austin, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Without even so much as a hesitation, he turned and replied, "A dad!" It was the single cutest thing that I had ever heard. I teared up in the middle of flippin' golden corral and said "Me too, Austin, me too." He gets it better than I do. He's 7.

So everything that I have learned, and am learning is really preparing me for that moment. To become a Dad. My kids are gonna read this and be like... Wow. So we cry all the time because of Dad!! yep. I love it all so much. The hard times, the fun times, the rewarding times. I don't ever want to look back and regret. I can't wait to be able to say this is done, because I am tired quite frankly. I know that I can make it though. I am doing the job that I am meant to do. Fulfilling my foredination. I love you and I am so grateful for all that yall do for me. I hope that you receive your blessings for being my support.

Remember who you are and what he stands for!

Elder Paul Funk

A Good Week to be Elder Funk

Hey Family!
Another week has already gone and past. I can't believe it! So fast. So basically here is my week!
We taught Nathan, again, but he really wanted to be taught the Law of Chastity for some reason. Whateve's it all has to get done so whatever works. So he told us we had to teach it with sock puppets but I said no way to that one. We pretty much laughed through the whole thing. Here is how elect he is. Before the lesson he told us a story about how he told his girlfriend a couple of days before that they couldn't do it anymore, because he was going to get baptized and change his life around. Awesome right! She punched him in the face, but he didn't give up! So he accepted that and he is probably going to have his date moved up to sooner rather than the 23rd of next month. So pumped!

Oh we also had a giant meeting about Gladys Knight. Basically to talk about why the church sucks at singing and why we don't have any soul in our services. Oh and how to talk to black people. It has been a little bit different finding like that.. Anyway that concert is this weekend and we get to go so I will have to give you an update about it next Monday! Gonna be sweet!

So we moved alot of people this week. We helped someone on Wednesday night that was moving to OKC. He gave us an Austin Powers card board cut out. Sweet right? So we put a badge on it and I gotta figure out how to send a picture and then yall can have it. He's like our third comp. Does about as much as Elder Le Sueur does sometimes haha. His words, not mine.

Another move that we did was helping the Brashears. Love those guys to death, they are so awesome. We went over and helped em move and so naturally I wore my cowboy boots. I was carrying this dang couch and it was pretty heavy. Elder Le Sueur was kinda annoying me in the moment and flicked my butt so I reacted and kicked him right in the shin. I totally forgot that I had my boots on so it killed him. I didn't even kick hard but it was pretty dang funny. He got over it. And he stopped annoying me.

Oh so last week we got in the car to go home with the sisters. The sister is a terrible driver. I tell yall that every week. But seriously. She is so bad. Worse than Ryan at Rainbow Road. (Boom Roasted) Jk. So I was talking to Staker and she told me that the other sister was the Senior comp. GOLD. So technically she is supposed to be driving. Now I just had to figure out a way to tell her that without causing a big problem. So when we got in the car, I super awkwardly said "Hey Sister Regen.. How long have you been out?" "Nine Months!" Sweet right? Because the other sister has only been out six! "Shouldn't you be driving?" Then all Hell broke loose. Whoops. I got my butt chewed out, because I don't even know why. Well ok I do, but still... So she ripped me a new one and then it was just like silence, man she made so many mean remarks. We don't get along. At all. So we rode our bike to the Library this week. Better part of that story. So I am ranting to the ZL's about this whole thing and they are with another comp and he says about Sister Regen  "I think she is red-dotted" meaning... She is such a terrible driver that they didn't even want to giver her a chance because she had gotten to many wrecks and she can't drive anyway. So I looked like a moron again. Wait. It gets better, then my comp says "Oh yeah! I remember that! She was in my last district!!" Thanks Elder Le Sueur. Thanks alot.

We had some other pretty good lessons. We went over to the Huff's to teach her cousin and they started talking about this crazy investigator that makes all this missionaries cut the bamboo at her house. I know that investigator, I am teaching her. So I tell her that, she gets a little freaked out and tells us the bishop told the Elder's never to go back there because she is mentally crazy and cracks and she could accuse us of stuff. Nice work writing that one down missionaries in the past... Yeah. I'm not going back there again. Last time we went, she told us about how she had her extension cord stolen from her. Freakin nuts.

We played some sweet football at the Stake Center last week. My comp was on the other team and it was like us matched up against each other. I owned. So hopefully that helped out his pride a bit. It was pretty hilarious.

Nathan is still moving which is a bummer, but all is good. He is gonna get baptized here and we are still going to the Glady's Knight concert together so that will be fun. He decided that he was going to make us listen to his favorite song and music video.. Whatever I guess. It's called "Royal" By Lorde. I might have fallen in love. Whoops. It's like the best song ever, but I only heard it once and now I have to wait to listen to it for another year. Alma was right. Wickedness never was Happiness. But totally check it out. Awesome song.

Elder Le Sueur is different than my other companions for sure. We get along great. I just have to give up alot of what I want to do. I really have learned that Companionship Unity is super important. I really wish that we had the same desires for a mission, that would make the work alot more effective and everything more fulfilling. He said though that last week was the hardest working week that he has had on his mission. So I suppose that is a good thing. He slept in til like 8 or something this morning. He sleeps alot so I make calls and try to motivate him to get out the door. Kinda a trick sometimes. Monster Energy drinks help...

Really that was about it. I love to do personal study. If you don't have a great experience everytime that you read the Book of Mormon there is something not right. I'm studying it for the third time on my mission and I'm now in Alma, I just finished 34 today. I love how Amulek talks about the Atonement, and the importance of it. He lays it all out there.

I am grateful to be were I am at. I was talking to sister Huff again, and she was expressing that she could see a mission really change missionaries, and could see it in me. She pretty much knows everything that has happened, she just like to hear it all and helps me out. Love her to death. I don't know what it is, but Widows, and grandma's are the best people on the planet. I told her that If I had to give up even more I would do it all again. Every single hard day, the hot weather and just everything. I would do it all again. I may complain a bit, but I would be so grateful to have time to do it again. But I'm glad that I was diligent and don't have regrets in the work I have done.

Overall a good week to be a Funk. Especially Elder Funk! I learned alot, I am gratful for patience and hope to be able to endure the next week. If there is anything praiseworthy I will seek after that thing. Terrible. I just butchered the 13th article of faith...

God bless.

Remember who you are and what He stands for!
Elder Funk 

A Week in the Life of a Funk

What a week in the life of a Funk. Actually nothing to big happened but I will try and over dramitize it so that you can get a laugh or something like that.

So basically the sister driver that we drive with everywhere depises me. (This is also the sister that was driving when he head was slammed in the car door a couple of weeks ago) So we drove down town last week and went to the Mexican Flee Market again. Man that is a cheap man's paradise. Just full of crap that you really don't need ever, but everything is super cool. She kinda just got mad at me, but ya know I really believe that Heavenly Father opened my eyes and I just can bear it now and realize it's probably something else and she is taking out on me. Yep I guess I'm sorry mom. I now understand what you felt with me.

That's basically what a mission is, just realizing how much you miss your mom and regretting every single bad thing that you ever did to her. That is what we talked about when I was over at member's house for dinner. He met his wife on his mission and basically is like my favorite person ever. Well besides the other 100 people that I say that about. We hung out with Nathan and taught him a couple of lessons that day too. He is just eating it all up! He wanted to call you mom and so I was sitting in the back seat when called and boy, he made me bawl! Like a sister after a baptism. Bad. That's basically what I did this week. Cry a whole lot.

Wednesday was good! We had breakfast with Bro Tiemann again, man is that guy awesome. Love him to death. He is on a cruise now so I won't see him for a bit. Just has the biggest heart out of everyone that I have ever met.

I left my old planner at home so I am trying to figure out what I did this week. Whoops. Oh Nathan is moving!!! Found that out last night. But he wants me to teach him so he is going to drive 45 minutes every week to come to church and then to have us teach him. I love that kid to death. He announced during Gospel Principles that I had to give him his next lesson about Chastity with Sock puppets. Honest to goodness he said that. I have no idea how to make that an appropriate visual aid. At all. Pray for me.

My new comp: Everything that Elder Dayton wasn't. Not in the best ways sometimes. He is pretty messy, but that's ok. One thing is he has gas like a petroleum plant. That. Is. My worst pet peave. We got into the car last night with one of my favorite members and he just let them rip. Not SBD but like leg lifters and just laughed. I apologized to the member and boy he got a good chewin out when we got into the apartment. He just has a too cool for everything attitude. But he is a good teacher. Just pray for him.

We had a guy the other day when we were walking home at 8:45 come zooming up in an electric wheel chair. Imagine Lt. Dan from forest gump, k got the picture? So he comes up and said "Hey yall J Ws?" so I said "Nah we are the Mormon Missionaries my friend!" He wanted to know the finer points of our doctrine but not then so he flys off his motorscooter wheelchair and does a flippin sweet 360 spin going up on two wheels and takes off again! He stops up ahead about a block so we ran up to him real quick and start talking to him again. He told us about how he was going to see his Girlfriend. She was working at Texas roadhouse. Now.. I have been there enough that I know that the waitresses there aren't in this guys league. So Elder Le Suere asked him "How old is she?" She was 25 and he was 63.. That was his dilemma, or that's what he told us. Love the guy to death. I think we are planning to go and teach him later this week. But the best part was, he put on his gloves and drove right off into the moonlight. Did another 360, and was gone. Romantic as they come. Cool guy though.

So I tried to impliment a new idea this week. I call it "Funeral Finding." We had a member pass away. But I'm gonna make ya wait for the idea and it's exectution while I tell ya this other story.

So we went to this nursing home with a member who is at least as old as the the Book of Mormon to see a member that was passing away soon. His name was Wally Bruce, So we showed up at the perfect time. 8:30 PM. Right when all the lights were off and everyone was asleep. However nothing deters the Elders and Bro Cooley so in we went! We found his room. But to our dismay and surprise, there was not one, but three men in the room! I had never seen Brother Bruce, Elder Hughes had never seen this guy and so we went off of faith, and Brother Cooleys vision. We went up the Brother Bruce and Brother Cooley started to softly say "Wally, Wally. We are here! We wanted to come see ya!" The guy didn't wake up so Brother Cooley starts to shake him. The man wakes up and looks us and is stunned, absolutely stunned. We sit there for a moment just staring at each other and Brother Cooley goes "Wait.. Your not wally." Yep. I would be shocked to if three guys in white shirts and ties were standing over me in my hospital bed. Whoops. Bet he thought he was dead. Hilarious though.

Sooo Brother Bruce passed away. A magnificent man. Tons of non member friends! So thus "Funeral Finding" was born. We showed up to the funeral and the member was the President of the San Antonio school of the deaf. SOO everyone there that was a non member was deaf basically. Fail. Epic fail. I gave alot of thumbs up to people and shook alot of hands. So hopefully we made a good impression. But going to a funeral full of deaf people is not the best way to find people to teach.

The spirit was so strong. I love the doctrine of the plan. That is the happiest thing that we have to hold on too. I know we can see family members again. I felt like a fool because I started bawling, again, I looked down the row and it was all the older women that were crying and then a little missionary. But It is so great to know this isn't the end. I love it. I know it's so true.

Sunday was the primary program and I sat next to the member that I watched conference with Andreas. Love the guy to death. The spirit was so strong. I love the sweet spirit that children have! I wish I were that cute again. They have such a sweet spirit about them.

I don't feel like this was a super uplifting email, but that was my week. I did a great study this week were I went and I wrote down all the names that Christ holds the standard works. It is Marvelous to do! He fills every single role of the salvation of my soul. I love him. He truly is Wonderful. I know with all my heart He lives.  I have been on a poetry kick as of late and just love how the general authoritys use it in there talks here is one that I liked from President Monson.
“‘Father, where shall I work today?’
And my love flowed warm and free.
Then he pointed out a tiny spot
And said, ‘Tend that for me.’
I answered quickly, ‘Oh no, not that!
Why, no one would ever see,
No matter how well my work was done.
Not that little place for me.’
And the word he spoke, it was not stern;
He answered me tenderly:
‘Ah, little one, search that heart of thine;
Art thou working for them or for me?
‘Nazareth was a little place,
And so was Galilee.’”
—Meade MacGuire
Whatever our skills are, whatever place we may need to be I know that the Lord will and has put me and us there. He loves us to much to let us not have every opportunity to live up to our greatest potential. In another talk I read this week Elder Hales said, speaking of the Saviors prayer to his Father concerning His will. "It is one thing to teach 'Thy will be done'. It is another to live it." I love you, and pray for you.

Remember who you are and what He stands for!
Elder Funk

Staying in the UC

 October 14

Paul didn't have much time to write, but here it is.


Hey! SO I literally have 15 minutes to email because of the dang government system. Like literally They have given me 12 minutes left... DA GUM.
This week was pretty good. I am staying here. I thought I was going to leave. Elder Dayton is leaving though so I will get a new comp. We get to pack and stuff with him today. Shoot.
So yeah Last night was funny. We had "Sunday Funday" at the Zls apartment that night. It was funny.

Service at the Tews was the bomb! Yeah so carpet was fun. I am going to learn how to do more so that I don't have to pay people. I think that transfers will be cool.

I am just like pushed for time I don't even know what to do! haha So we will see. If anything I will write a letter out this week to yall. Pres. Slaughter probably won't hear from me today...

Lets see. Nathan is doing good. He is going to get baptized next month. So yeah we are setting a date tonight. I love him!

Ummm.... WE also had a crazy investigator who bashed again. So sick of it. I am pretty good at bashing.. But I hate it so I don't do it.

This is basically my lamest email eva. Oh by the way played some Settlers of Catan in between sessions of conference with some members.

Life is good. Yep. Just chillin on a bike. It bike alot. Anyway guess I gotta go. So love ya lots.
Jk false alarm. This is like watching an episode of 24 trying to type and im sure read this email. 15 Minutes is not enough time to do that! hahaha

But for real now I do have no time.
So I love ya alot and send me letters because I am staying in the UC!

Remember who you are and what He stands for!
Elder Funk

Substitution can never take the place of PREPARATION

Hey Family!
What a great week it was in the TSAM! I loved, loved, loved conference. There is no doubt in my mind that at least a couple of the speakers were speaking straight up to me. I really hope that everyone got as much as I did out of it. I love and support the Prophet with all of my heart. I am so grateful for the chance that I got to sustain him and all of the Quorum of the Twelve while sitting on a couch in good ole' Schertz Texas. I will never forget this conference. I feel so much different.

The week started off terrible. I just had some rotten news and stuff so I did the only thing I knew what to do. Go to the refiner's fire. Or rather the BBQ pit at the ZL's apartment. It was great! Paper makes great fuel and just as Elder Dube of the 70 said "We must never look behind, only at what is to be done! It was an awesome day. A letting go of the past and having a brighter future. I am grateful for that. It was tough but hey, It wasn't all supposed to be easy. I also tried to BBQ some chicken.. I don't know how to cook... So I didn't cook the chicken quite long enough but everyone still ate it until one of them realized that it was kinda slimmy.. Whoops. Reminds me of another story that I heard this week and I think it applys perfectly to all Missionaries that are getting ready to enter the field! Ryan included... haha.

So there was a couple of sister missionaries that are in the mission that one Sunday morning realized that they had forgotten to fill up the car with Gasoline. Whoops. So as to not break the Sabbath they decided that they would resort to Faith. They went to the nearest hose from a house, turned it on and stuck it into the Gas tank! Cheapest fill up ever right? Not even Gas prices that are at $3.09 right now could beat that! Of course the Sisters knew that water could not make the car run. So they offered up a prayer to Heavenly Father, in faith, and asked that the water be turned into Gasoline. Off to church they went! Of course they got part way there and the car ran out of gas, and completely destroyed the engine on the car. I have no doubt that their faith wasn't lacking, it was probably much like Peter's when he walked on water, but no matter the faith that you have Substitution can never take the place of Preparation.

Tuesday was another day! We didn't teach a soul. Nope not one. I think that everything that could fall through did. It was tough. So to get to part of our area we have to cross this creek bed, which in itself is a terrible task. But whateve's, so it has rained alot and the creek was mostly full so we had to huddle along the bank. We reached a point that a lady who was walking past us deemed "Impassible." We got through before, but this time was a bit different. I had to leap like a gazelle and managed to make it most of the way before boom. Yep there I was in a big pile of mud. It was sorta gross and terrible. I was frustrated. So we walked back out and then Brother Sherrill called us and asked us to help with a move! Yes. That was inspired. I had to be careful not to get mud all over his truck but it was awesome. Oh and at the move I met Brother Nielsen's Sister!!! yeah. His Nephew is our ward! Marty Evans. I love them so much!! I couldn't believe it. Trunky moment. Yeah that was awesome.

Wednesday we had some sweet District Meeting, President Slaughter has encouraged us to listen not with our eyes but with "Our whole Soul" and I have really started to see a difference in myself. I love it.

Thursday I don't think like anything exciting happened. I was to pumped for General Conference. Oh wait. I lied... We were going to go to this lesson with Jordan, like my BFF here, and he wanted to bring his friend Nathan, the kid we taught at Taco Cabana, I think that possible could have been my first Non-member present ever, but the lesson fell through. So I forgot to mention when I first got to the house I just looked at Nathan and said "When are you going to get baptized? You have to do it before Jordan leaves!" The spirit hit him and now we are teaching him and setting him with a date tonight! Back to the story. So we went back to Jordan's house where his mom and dad had us stuffing some envelopes full of quicinera (15th Birthday for a mexican girl) invitations. I think I got high because I licked at least 100 envelopes. It was a good day.. I really love that family. Jordan took us home and whenever we get into the car we blast some good country music. Nothing quite like listening to country driving down the freeway with the windows down and looking up at the giant Texas sky. That is my guilty pleasure for the week.. Well one of them. Other than that I do good about being obedient.

Friday was just the day for prep before conference, we invited tons of people to come with us to conference and yeah. That was basically the extent of the day!

Saturday was one of the best days of my mission. I loved it. Ate it all up! I truly listened with my whole soul and was rewarded with some of the most exquisite feelings of peace that I have ever had! I loved it! I loved D. Todd Christofferson's talk on Womanhood. That is exactly what I feel and think about it! I couldn't believe how spiritual the entire conference was. I didn't miss a single breathe. I loved it. We got the Magana family to come with us to conference and the listened to Pres. Uchtdorf's why is anyone a member talk. I think that they really enjoyed it! I can't wait to have another lesson with them this week. I loved it all so much. Priesthood session was amazing. President Monson gave such a great talk. I just can't express how much love that I have for them!

Sunday was the crowning jewel of the week. We watched conference at Bro. Tiemann's house with his friend from the Air Force. He is a sweet member, his name is Andreais. We all just loved it. Elder Dayton only fell asleep once too on his couch. I can't believe what an amazing weekend that it was. These were truly some of the best days of my whole entire mission. I needed them so badly.

I love this work and I just want to finish with one miracle that happened to me a couple of weeks ago and the importance of once again following the spirit.

Last month was honestly the hardest month of my entire life. I just felt a constant grind. I don't know why. My mental state was just terrible. It was all so hard. I just wanted it all to go away and stop but it was relentless. There were just events after events that happened and nothing ever seemed to pull through.

Our fridge even went out! I may have mentioned that before. All the food in our fridge had to be thrown away and since we had no car, we really had no way to get anymore food! We didn't starve we had enough stuff to get us through the weekend and onto P-day. But it was the end of the month and we had literally no money between us on our cards. Our office Elder had promised to put on some money so that we could replace all that was in the fridge which was a welcome relief. When we arrived at the store we started to shop, assuming that we had money all the cards based on what the office Elder had said. We decided however that we needed to go and double check before we went to check out because it would be awful embarrassing to have no money to pay for our groceries.

When we went to check we realized that we had no money. The transaction had not yet gone through.. I was beyond frustrated. It really was just like the last straw. We had no investigators, it was hot, I was so tired, I was dealing with just a ton of stuff, it seemed like my world and life, quite frankly just sucked. So what did we do? We put our stuff back and wandered around the store aimlessly. I'm sure I did not have a good look on my face, none of that Happy smile that Dr. Perry fixes up for me, so I just stood there kinda day dreaming, Elder Dayton was off down the eisle looking at something when a lady all of the sudden came up to me.

"Are you a missionary?" She asked.
"Yes Ma'am, for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints." I said.
Just then she grabbed my hand in both of hers and said "Well. I feel like I need to give this to you." She pulled her hands away and to my surprise she left a 20 dollar bill in my hand. Of course I was a little shocked, I had no idea what to say, The only thing I could say was "How did you know?.." She shrugged and said "God bless you." and walked away. I knew that she wasn't a member of our faith, she had no knowledge of what I had been going through but she acted on a prompting from the Holy Ghost.
I ran over to Elder Dayton and held out the 20 dollar bill in my hands and explained what had just happened. We looked and looked for the Lady and her Husband but they were no where to be found.

That day was great! We got food for the next couple of days, and a few days later a member brought us over a ton of food that we are still eating. It wasn't until a couple of nights ago when I was up reading in the scriptures that I realized something much more inspiring had happened. That 20 dollars wasn't about giving me food to get by, it was God telling me that I was in His hands, that He has a purpose for me and that I'll be ok, I only have to believe.

That sweet lady has no idea the impression that she left on a 19 year old kid from Utah, and likely in this life won't ever. Man I feel like a fool, I'm just bawling in the middle of this library. But I won't ever forget that moment for as long as I live. I am filled with the Love of the Savior whenever I think about it.

That has been the greatest lesson that I have learned on my mission. To follow the spirit wherever you are, and whatever needs to be done. You may never know what you do, and may not even receive the blessings for it here, but once again I say, Please listen to the Spirit. Follow every single prompting. I hope that I can do that. If it seems like a good idea just do it. It may change the life of someone that needs the Saviors love.

This has been the best couple days of my entire mission. My eyes are alot clearer and I know that another storm probably is going to come but I love every second of it. Just enjoy the journey and find peace in the Savior.

And as Always,
Remember who you are and what He stands for!
Elder Paul Funk 

Women Drivers...

The Saviors love is such a powerful thing. I am very grateful for the infinite love of Him who created us. This month has just been one thing after another. It never seems to get easier. I am so sorry to all those that are going though such a hard time. But Broken things are Made to Mend.

The principle of Love is one that I have come even more to realize. It's not something that can be put into words, a cake, some cookies, a letter, or in the sky by an airplane. It is a word of Action. I love that the Savior even said "If you love me, Keep my Commandments." He has helped me to realize more and more every single day that the only way to really show or to tell someone that you love them is to help them in a way that might hurt or hinder you. I have been studying alot of talks from the General Conference in April and last night I had a very vivid dream about the principles in one one of them and these are the six things.

1.   The temple is the place.
2.   To contend, you need two people, and I will never be one of them.
3.   A child who sings is a happy child.
4.   I need you to hug me.
5.   I love the Book of Mormon and my Savior, Jesus Christ.
6.   It is not enough to know the scriptures; we have to live them.

 I really do believe that all of those principles will be the key to happiness. The are the Actions of Love. Learning to leave what you want to be doing and doing what you should be doing by going to the Temple. Realizing that a fight unpicked is a fought won! Singing is truly a prayer unto the Most High and releases us from Temptation. Physical touch is as powerful as any earthy expression of love. The Book of Mormon and Jesus Christ show us the way to help us and others receive Eternal Life. The scriptures are the handbook to happiness. If I follow those 6 things I know that I can be the happiest man on earth! Anyone can. It's really not that hard. 

We had alot of different things happen this week. It has just been one thing after another. We got to have our interviews with President Slaughter but mine was a little bit different. On the way there I was getting in the car with the sisters, and they had a few things like a purse, and a box and stuff in the back seat and so I was moving them and getting in when the driver took off and smacked my door into a pole. Now that wouldn't have been a big deal, except that my head was  between the car door and the frame of the car, so it smashed my head in between. I just kinda rolled into the car, they were kinda freaking out and my head hurt really, really bad. So we showed up for the interviews and I just sat there, I wanted to puke, cry, and it all just hurt so bad. I sat there for like 45 minutes and then went in for my interview, I asked President Slaughter for a blessing, and he gave me one. He told me that I was healed completely and that I would be able to gp out and work. When we got out of the blessing he wanted me to sit around for a bit and he wanted to see if I was going to be ok. I told him I didn't need to, because he told me in the blessing I was going to be ok. So I just left, My head still hurt pretty bad so I prayed, and went to sleep for my lunch break, and when I stood up everything was ok, I could see fine, I wasn't sick and I didn't have a head ache. So we got to go out and work! I am incredible grateful for faith in the Holy Priesthood. It will change lives and even save them.

A funny one that happened was we were walking down the street, and once again we were miles away from home and it started to down pour. It was terrible. So we hid underneath a tree and I know you aren't supposed to do that in a storm, but I think the Lord won't strike our tree, He needs me to much. So anyway we got sick of that and started walking figuring to get drenched anyway and a car pulled up and asked us if we wanted a ride somewhere. We jumped into the car, and told him what we do and he was blown away. We asked him to drop us off on the corner but he wouldn't do that and took us to Panda Express with him. It was pretty funny. We talked for a while about everything and then he told us that he had to go shopping and since now we were way away from our house we had no choice, so we looked at Legos for like a half hour. They aren't not the same as when I was a kid!

Sunday I told Elder Dayton I wasn't sticking around at church if we didn't have any investigators again. I am so sick of being there when we don't have people. Honestly it's almost a waste of the Lord's time. I'm not there to be getting spiritual nourishment for me right now. So we called everyone and no one was going to come. We showed up to church and no one was there. AGAIN. But the Lord hears and answers prayers and fasting and the Taco Cabana boy from last week showed up again and was like "Funk! Ya know I kinda like it here. I decided to come again!" We spent the rest of the church time together. I know that the Lord does answer my prayers. I didn't will him to do that.. I am just grateful that He gave me a chance to see some hope! PLUS. He said that he met the Pope one time and compared to the feeling that he felt at sacrament meeting it was like "talking to his Grandpa." The spirit really helped him understand what he needs to do in life to be happy just as it does to all of us!

Really there have been to many lessons that you learn when you are on a mission to throw them all into an email. I wish that I could just like invest my soul into the computer and you could see into my mind and my heart. Hearing the stories of the suffering, whether here or at home is so humbling to realize that I have such a great privilege to be serving in the Lord's Vineyard. I really do know with all of my heart that he looks for the hands that hang down so that he can carry them to greater heights. My mission has changed me for the better every single day. I wouldn't trade anything that I lost for the things that I have gained. There is way to many things. The Savior often times has to let us feel alone so that we really can know who walks beside us. I now know my Savior. I walk with him every day. He is by my side, reprimanding me, counseling me, teaching me, but most of all, loving me. He doesn't just tell me he loves me. He doesn't show that he loves me, but he works with me to show me that he loves me. I know with all my soul and heart that he loves me and he loves each and every one of you. I testify of that, and bear my witness in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Elder Funk
Remember who you are and what He stands for!

Snake in the Grass

Well another week is over already. It seemed to drag on and on forever but in reality it went by pretty quick. It's amazing how quick the night seems to come on every day. And it has cooled down so that has been a blessing.

Monday we didn't do much. We went to the mall. I tried to barter some sweet cologne from one of those stands. She started at 84 and we worked it down to 39. It smelled so sweet. I woulda bought it if I had been home or anywhere else. I think it was the tie that was doing all the work. Really was a pretty boring P day. We don't really have anywhere fun to go and do stuff. And it's with the sisters, so it's like I don't want to go out and look like a date... Yeah. It's sorta weird. It's almost similar to a date, but it's more like a business meeting... I don't know how to have normal conversations anymore so that helps keep it real!

Tuesday it was the start of the rain! It dumped on our little neck of the woods all week. Now.. I have learned that just because it is raining doesn't mean that it is necessarily cold. Doesn't make sense at all but yeah. So if I am wearing my jacket, which was meant for Utah I get kept dry from the rain but my body is drenched in sweat. Haha a no win. But it was cool so whatever! (No mom I don't need a new jacket:) ) We had a sweet lesson with Gloria, a member's cousin. She is going to get baptized eventually and we had a good lesson about the Levitcal Priesthood and how that interconnects with the greater priesthood. And the restoration was in there too. It was a great lesson. Well we found out later that it was anyway, the member told us that we answered all of her questions and that she was super excited about it all. That is perfect because I have no idea what I was talking about sometimes. OH! we also had District meeting. It was ok. Just basically a meeting but after we went to this burger joint named Chesters and a member bought all of our food for us! Super awesome! So we sat there 6 of us and there wasn't a whole lot of conversation then slowly one by one we all started the ohs and the ahs that come with Sportscenter highlights. Yep. We all watched about a half hour of sportscenter.. It was glorious. I wish the Yanks were doing better, and my Eagles could win a couple more games!

Wednesday was back to the grind. We had to go and email this survey because Elder Golden Jr. is coming in November, he gave that talk about the Father and The Son last general conference which was awesome. I really enjoyed it. So we had to bike like an hour to get up here. It was a long day. But toward the end we got to teach a lesson to this family. The Magana's. She is a widow and has 4 kids. We taught the plan and by the end they were all in tears because the pirit was so strong. They didn't come to church.. So I guess we will have to see what happened, but it was a great lesson. I really like them alot. We stepped outside and the minute we did the heavens unleashed. The thing about San Antonio is that the ground is so hard that the water all stays around and floods all the streets so we were biking in like mid calf water. It was terrible. I have never been so wet in my entire life. Worse than the last time that we got soaked. Not fun. But whatever it was worth it. We just undressed outside and went about our buisness. People think that we are nuts. Well in reality we might be. So... yeah.

Thursday was weekly planning. I woke up in a kinda fog and just felt down all day, so weekly planning was less than successful. Whatever. We will see how that goes. If anybody wants to know, weekly planning is basically the longest three hours of your life. It is like watching a golf tournament, knowing who is going to win, how they are going to win, and that the whole thing is going to be nullified by a steroid scandal. But you still have to watch it. That is sorta how I feel about weekly planning. Whatever though. So then we were going to bless a LA house and then he canceled on us, luckily we went to the Sherrils my favorite members and they fed us some Pizza and wings. Yep it was good. Made the night worth it. We biked back up to Schertz and ended up knocking into one of our potentials who let us in! Turns out she is a closet member and has been in hiding for years. We taught the whole family the Plan, it was super fun, and after I asked her daughter how she felt about it and she said, "It gives me hope. I always thought it was one and done!" Yeah. The plan is the best part of the gospel. If I had to pick a favorite that would be it. It was a great lesson, we have another appointment with them tomorrow.

Friday was eventful again. We woke up and guess what? Our fridge stopped working. All of our food was warm and yep. That sucks! So we called the office and we had to through tons of stuff away. It was no bueno. We got it fixed and they reimbursed us, which is great... Except that we don't have a car and stuff, so we had to eat out all of our meals. Gross. I just feel like Super Sized missionary style. Not fun. So after dealing with that for a while we went out and had a great conversation with one of our investigator families who is going on CNN. Found out that they weren't married and that they can't really do anything about it because the wife isn't divorced. That would have been great info the first time. So we talked about crazy food that we all wanted to try and left. Cool family though. Hopefully they will get baptized because he is a DJ and I could probably use his services and sometime in the next 5 years... District meetings don't quite count. Whatever. We taught another guy that day. I am so sick of fact seekers. I hate it. I didn't even want to be there and made that clear, but he wanted to tell us all about the bible being translated and that we could trust it. Yes sir... I do trust it. As a matter of fact, I actually follow what it says. BUT that would have been rude to say so instead, I played with some toys while Elder Dayton listened to this guy for the last half of the lesson. Really nice guy and we will be great friends. Just has to learn that Faith is a principle that cannot be overcome with any amount of factual evidence.

Saturday was bizarre. We went and helped a family move and so usually we have pizza, but they decided to spice it all up and get some good ole tacos. Texas style. So we went with an RM his non member friend (Who I am real good friends with) and us. The Rm taught the entire Resto lesson in the drive through at Taco Cabana. It was awesome! The spirit was really strong the entire time. He even let us give the Moroni Challenge. And we got 24 tacos and a large lemonade. It was fun. We went back and did some more studies after having some "Bonifide Fried Chicken" from our friendly neighbors Popeye's and yeah. Then like 2 hours later the Gorton's took us to go get some Red Robins. I had a sweet whiskey BBQ burger and a Brownie in a martini glass. They also sat us right next to the bar... Not sure why.. Mormons and a bar. Whatever it was cool. So I tell you what we ate that day for this next part to make sense. We were running late to an appointment and we had to have the Gortons drop us off at our appointment. It is like 6 or 7 miles away from home. But we figured it would be worth it if our investigator was there. He wasn't. We called and everything. But nothing he just vanished and so had our members at this point to. Now apparently the combination of nothing but fried Chicken and burgers for two days but Elder Dayton's stomach into a sense of Apostasy. It decided that it was going to reject the food. The only problem was that he had no where to go! So we had to book it like a mile and he was just like hyperventilating the whole time trying to hold himself together for both of our sakes and we had to go use and investigators house. He was there a while. I had enough time to get there whole day and everything small talkish and then they wanted me to watch a good section of "Undercover Boss" with them.. It was a long bathroom break. I was laughing hysterically the entire time though. When we walked out the door we were walking back down the street and a truck stopped at a stop sign and he asked if we wanted waters. We said sure why not! and then went over there. The only thing he had was like beer and Mike's Hard lemonade. So we had to turn him down, so he told us to wait he drove home got us tamales, capri suns and water. He pulled up with a cigarette in is hand and said,"I'm a christian and so are you, thank you for what you do! Sit right there and take a dinner break." He drove away. Pedro is an awesome guy. Hopefully we see him again. Then we finished that and still had like 5 miles to go in about an hour. So we figured we had to book it. Yeah. On the way there was an old guy that was flirting with some old lady in her car and he was on his bike blasting some lovey country song. Heck it was weird. But the epitome of Texas. We kept walking on and walked down this deserted street. I mentioned to Elder Dayton how bad it would be if we just saw a rattle snake when we started because it was so dark. Yep bet you can already tell where this is all going.... So we started walking through some weeds and cars are zipping past us left and right, super sketchy so we are off on the side. No cars came for a while so we were just talking back and forth and then way off in the distance a car started to come, and as soon as the headlights started to illuminate our path, Boom. Rattlesnake like a foot in front of us. Elder Dayton screamed "Oh. My. Hell!!!!" (In reference to the biblical symbolism of the snake... Whatever. He swore.) Then ran off to the left of it. I however had no where to go so I like jumped over it as far as I could to the right and took off running like a convict. We were screaming and yelling, he yelled at me to get out of the bushes and I finally jumped out of them. (I shoud interject here, Elder Funk HATES snakes..no REALLY hates snakes)It was terrible we just ran and ran until finally the car whose lights had shone on us caught up to us. It was this African American lady who we had talked to the day before! She was super sweet and with her husband so they picked us up and drove us home. I was terrified. I would much rather get hit by a car then see another snake.

Sunday was boring old sunday. The Taco Cabana kid came and said "Ya know out of all the churches I have gone to yours is the only one that feels good." we laughed and just told him because it is true!! So hopefully he can come around soon. Neat kid. Nathan.. haha love him to death. That was basically it. We had a dinner and the kids ended up fighting like the entire time to teenagers. They kept trying to tell us inappropriate stuff about Chimney rock I guess, and when we went to grab our scriptures for the thought you could tell the mother threatened them within an inch of their lives. Yeah they are probably still hurting from the whooping they got, but I thought that it was just like home! haha

That was basically my week. Just plugging right along.We are doing well. Elder Dayton and I are like BFF's. He has extreme OCD but pretty cool other than that. We complain about alot so yeah.. nice to have a complainer with me! Fun stuff. I don't know. Basically just the same old stuff. Different day. The trick is to endure to the end!
Remember who you are and what He stands for!
Elder Paul Funk